Days on the calendar come and go marking events that would have been but weren't; days that don't mean anything to anyone except me. (I've one more of these coming up in May).
As much as I try to tough it out (Yeah it was the worst pain I ever felt in my life, yeah I almost died, and, yeah I lost a pregnancy, so what?) it still effects me. The loss of possibilities is probably the hardest part. As much as I want to say I'm well over it, the truth is I am not. I may never be. I guess it's not a matter of "getting over it" or "putting it behind me" as much as it is a matter of learning to live with it. It didn't kill me, so it must have made me stronger? I certainly don't feel stronger but who am I to judge? I do know this for sure, I have things in my life today that I did not have one year ago. People whom I love, and new skills I have acquired. I am grateful for the changes this year has brought, even as I mourn the losses. I am happy even though it hurts.
Scars and bruises on our souls make us who we are.
It's not good or bad, it just is what it is; Life.
Showing posts with label recovery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recovery. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Back to work and a Beautiful Calendar!
Two things:
First: I'm back at work Huzzah!
Second: I'm selling a calendar Huzzah!
Okay so first things first, yesterday I went back to work for the first time since my life fell apart for a second time this year. Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration, it didn't exactly fall apart, it just changed dramatically. In fact My perspective has changed so much, the way I'm going back to work is completely different.
As much as my family is short on cash flow right now, (with me being off work for so long and for the second time this year and with Andrew in school, which is going really great btw) I've decided that it's not worth it to work the way I did before.
I made this decision not only because the closing shift is the hardest shift with the most work (physical and clerical) and I don't think I should always have to be the one to do it, but also because since I moved it now takes an hour to get home by bus. I don't get paid any differently for always closing so, why should I put up with it? Not fair. Plus it's far more work crammed into the short period after the doors are closed than can actually be done so I never actually get out the door at 9:30pm. Meaning the earliest I can possible ever get home is 10:30pm. Which is alright once and a while, but not everyday, especially when I have to be back there the next morning to receive shipment at 7am!!!
Since I've now said I'll only work up until 6pm on week days except one day (I'm not so unreasonable, so I gave a little there) , only one day on the weekend (so Saturday or Sunday, but not both) and I want two full days off from work every single week (As apposed to one full day off and two half days with only four hour shifts) I'm engaged in a bit of a battle of the wills. I guess time will tell if I will be accommodated, or if my boss will simply decide that she's going to knock me down to part time (which she can do since I've changed my availability). If she does, it will be time for either a second job, or a new job entirely. I suppose time will tell......
And now for the fun stuff!!
In early September I had just finished putting together a beautiful collection of butterfly photography in a calendar which is available from Lulu. Due to my my surgery and recovery and all the other badness that happened on September 10th, I never promoted it. Since there's no time like the present, I'd better get to it. Wanna buy a calendar?
FAQ'S
So Sarah, why did you decided to be a total sell out and put your beautiful fine art photography into a calendar format?
Well, aside from the fact that the slow economy means most people just don't have the kinda of disposable income required to purchase a large beautiful print and I'd really like my photography out there and up on people walls in any format, the real reason is my Dad. My darling Father (god rest his soul) was never the most supportive when it came to my artistic endeavours. He would always hem and haw about the investment required in making prints and framing, also he just couldn't believe that people would actually spend that kind of money on fine art photography because hey, any one can take a photo right? Well, when I put together my "Beautiful Ontario" collection for our show back in 2009 (wow has it only been a year? Feels like forever since I had a show) My Father gave me that the absolute highest praise he could ever give a photograph. He said "Sarah, these are good enough to be in a Calendar!!" Sadly, he did not see the "Reflections" collection and sadly this collection never made it to print or to show. But hopefully Dad would think these were good enough to be in a Calendar too!
I see on the Lulu website my Calendar will ship in three to five days, wow that's so fast! Does that mean I have to pay a redonkulous amount for shipping?
When it says "Ships in 3–5 business days" That means it will take 3-5 days for the printing process to be completed. These are available for purchase on consignment which means that there is no warehouse full of calendars. Lulu only prints the calendars that have been paid for, this way I don't actually have to invest any money for them (only time and love). How much you will pay for shipping and how long it will take you to get it depends of the type for shipping service you choose and the place you are having them shipped to. I would highly recommend that you get yours sooner rather than later to avoid the holiday rush.
$15.00 + shipping is pretty steep for a Calendar why is it so expensive?
Well, nobody does anything for free, the base price for this calendar is $12.49. Which mean that while I set my own price, lulu wants $12.49 for every calender of mine that gets printed. Considering that I think $15.00 is pretty reasonable!
You know Sarah, I have so much disposable income and I want to give it all to you to support your artist endeavors don't you have anything to sell me that is more expensive ?
Well, gee wiz thanks! (okay maybe I made that last one up but I'm gonna go ahead and answer it anyways!) Some photographs from the Reflections collection are available in book form also from lulu. They are not all the same ones in the calendar but there is some over lap.
First: I'm back at work Huzzah!
Second: I'm selling a calendar Huzzah!
Okay so first things first, yesterday I went back to work for the first time since my life fell apart for a second time this year. Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration, it didn't exactly fall apart, it just changed dramatically. In fact My perspective has changed so much, the way I'm going back to work is completely different.
As much as my family is short on cash flow right now, (with me being off work for so long and for the second time this year and with Andrew in school, which is going really great btw) I've decided that it's not worth it to work the way I did before.
I made this decision not only because the closing shift is the hardest shift with the most work (physical and clerical) and I don't think I should always have to be the one to do it, but also because since I moved it now takes an hour to get home by bus. I don't get paid any differently for always closing so, why should I put up with it? Not fair. Plus it's far more work crammed into the short period after the doors are closed than can actually be done so I never actually get out the door at 9:30pm. Meaning the earliest I can possible ever get home is 10:30pm. Which is alright once and a while, but not everyday, especially when I have to be back there the next morning to receive shipment at 7am!!!
Since I've now said I'll only work up until 6pm on week days except one day (I'm not so unreasonable, so I gave a little there) , only one day on the weekend (so Saturday or Sunday, but not both) and I want two full days off from work every single week (As apposed to one full day off and two half days with only four hour shifts) I'm engaged in a bit of a battle of the wills. I guess time will tell if I will be accommodated, or if my boss will simply decide that she's going to knock me down to part time (which she can do since I've changed my availability). If she does, it will be time for either a second job, or a new job entirely. I suppose time will tell......
And now for the fun stuff!!
In early September I had just finished putting together a beautiful collection of butterfly photography in a calendar which is available from Lulu. Due to my my surgery and recovery and all the other badness that happened on September 10th, I never promoted it. Since there's no time like the present, I'd better get to it. Wanna buy a calendar?
FAQ'S
So Sarah, why did you decided to be a total sell out and put your beautiful fine art photography into a calendar format?
Well, aside from the fact that the slow economy means most people just don't have the kinda of disposable income required to purchase a large beautiful print and I'd really like my photography out there and up on people walls in any format, the real reason is my Dad. My darling Father (god rest his soul) was never the most supportive when it came to my artistic endeavours. He would always hem and haw about the investment required in making prints and framing, also he just couldn't believe that people would actually spend that kind of money on fine art photography because hey, any one can take a photo right? Well, when I put together my "Beautiful Ontario" collection for our show back in 2009 (wow has it only been a year? Feels like forever since I had a show) My Father gave me that the absolute highest praise he could ever give a photograph. He said "Sarah, these are good enough to be in a Calendar!!" Sadly, he did not see the "Reflections" collection and sadly this collection never made it to print or to show. But hopefully Dad would think these were good enough to be in a Calendar too!
I see on the Lulu website my Calendar will ship in three to five days, wow that's so fast! Does that mean I have to pay a redonkulous amount for shipping?
When it says "Ships in 3–5 business days" That means it will take 3-5 days for the printing process to be completed. These are available for purchase on consignment which means that there is no warehouse full of calendars. Lulu only prints the calendars that have been paid for, this way I don't actually have to invest any money for them (only time and love). How much you will pay for shipping and how long it will take you to get it depends of the type for shipping service you choose and the place you are having them shipped to. I would highly recommend that you get yours sooner rather than later to avoid the holiday rush.
$15.00 + shipping is pretty steep for a Calendar why is it so expensive?
Well, nobody does anything for free, the base price for this calendar is $12.49. Which mean that while I set my own price, lulu wants $12.49 for every calender of mine that gets printed. Considering that I think $15.00 is pretty reasonable!
You know Sarah, I have so much disposable income and I want to give it all to you to support your artist endeavors don't you have anything to sell me that is more expensive ?
Well, gee wiz thanks! (okay maybe I made that last one up but I'm gonna go ahead and answer it anyways!) Some photographs from the Reflections collection are available in book form also from lulu. They are not all the same ones in the calendar but there is some over lap.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Out and about!
Slowly, slowly, I'm venturing out of the house and trying to actually do stuff again! Last Friday I went over to my girl friend's house with my boys for dinner and watched some videos. I was really worried that it would be too much for me, but it wasn't it was nice and relaxing!
On Wednesday I walked slowly (two blocks maybe) to our local. I was thinking that since I am no longer drugged up I could maybe have a good old fashion drink, unfortunately by the time we got there I was so exhausted that I had to give the alcohol a miss, I did however enjoy nachos and ice tea.
Then yesterday day oh boy, I went to Scarborough Town Center with my Mum, had lunch and did some shopping. It was hard, I'm not going to say it was easy, because I'm still pretty weak, but it's sure good to know that it's possible. I went to three different stores to try on dresses, and I found three lovely ones at the last store we went to.
It's taking a really long time but I've gone from being stuck in bed covered in bruises with brief painful trips to the bathroom, to walking to the living room to sit on the sofa and getting on the computer, to venturing down stairs to watch movies, to actually leaving the house and walking around in the world!
I still find that everyone else moves way too fast for me, and I still get really exhausted if I try to move too fast or do too much. The most important thing is, even thought it's taking a long time, I am making noticeable progress.
On Wednesday I walked slowly (two blocks maybe) to our local. I was thinking that since I am no longer drugged up I could maybe have a good old fashion drink, unfortunately by the time we got there I was so exhausted that I had to give the alcohol a miss, I did however enjoy nachos and ice tea.
Then yesterday day oh boy, I went to Scarborough Town Center with my Mum, had lunch and did some shopping. It was hard, I'm not going to say it was easy, because I'm still pretty weak, but it's sure good to know that it's possible. I went to three different stores to try on dresses, and I found three lovely ones at the last store we went to.
It's taking a really long time but I've gone from being stuck in bed covered in bruises with brief painful trips to the bathroom, to walking to the living room to sit on the sofa and getting on the computer, to venturing down stairs to watch movies, to actually leaving the house and walking around in the world!
I still find that everyone else moves way too fast for me, and I still get really exhausted if I try to move too fast or do too much. The most important thing is, even thought it's taking a long time, I am making noticeable progress.
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